"Nora At Sixty-One"
© Nora Kasten
Oil painting on linen (24" x 20") From the 1998 archives
"Here is the painting, hung high on the far end of my office wall. It was there also when my Beloved Karl occupied this office but recently I've changed the decor. It's necessary now that I create "my space". I must tell you though that it is a joy to be here in this room as well as the whole house that we shared and were so happy together. It's a good feeling to touch and handle the papers along with the instructional notes that he left for me, knowing his hands were on them.
Purposely, living in the present moment and listening to the inner voice all through the day is very rewarding and Goodness is coming to me in ways I could never have imagined. The other day I felt led to take a short walk in my neighborhood (I seldom do this) and while I was walking the mailman came along. We've only waved to each other in years past and one time he called out to me from his car while I was painting roses in the front yard. Well, he recognized me and pulled up to the curb to ask how Karl and I were doing. I know it was a good day for me and I certainly wasn't feeling down but when I had to tell him Karl had died, the tears began so I just waved good-by and started to walk away. The next thing that happened almost put me in shock. He parked the mail car, turned it off, got out, came onto the sidewalk and gave me a hug with tears in his eyes. Since the tears were rolling down my face by now I couldn't really say much but it didn't matter. The mailman had the perfect words for me at the perfect time, even giving me the perfect solution to something I had been pondering about and he couldn't have known.
The next day I put the red bar out on my mailbox and placed a one line note, thanking my mailman. When I got the mail later that day, here is the note I found. We can believe that we really don't know another person but the fact is that we are all in this together.
The days are still filled with loving thoughts of my Karl and I continue the best I know how to live this life without him. His presence always gave me strength and peace and It still does . . . . . I wish he could help me with these tears."