"Fresh Roses"
Oil painting on linen on board (16"x20")
"This painting is hanging in a guest bathroom that I intend to let go with my home / when and if it sells. The beautiful black gallery wall is gone and restored to it's original color. The house and garage are cleared of the things I am keeping except for clothes and personal items. One wall in the garage is lined with paintings and frames that I want to keep. The big Hughes easel will be gone by next week. Here is a link to the multiple listing and virtual tour of my home.
Before returning home from the recent trip, I was able to visit with all four of my sons and with many of my Indiana friends. While in Plainfield, Indiana, I looked at some condos with the thought of maybe buying one. I'm so unsure of what to do now that probably renting would be a better option for me. It's for certain that I won't do anything until "I have the I know that I know" from my Inner Presence.
Being away from here for a while was good but the loneliness and sadness still eat away at me. I talked to a counselor yesterday who says this will not continue and to expect good things to happen gradually that will ease this suffering. He says "Be kind to yourself during this time and if you can't paint, just don't do it. If there is no joy in painting now, why are you forcing yourself? You'll know when and if it's time. Seek, look into and try new things." . . . . Actually, nothing really seems to mean anything to me now.
Last Friday I canceled out of The Sheldon Fine Art Gallery here in Naples and brought home five paintings. They still have six of my paintings and I intend to have them back soon. I plan to take one or two paintings to the Brown County, IN gallery the first of September but I need to be free of painting obligations right now. It surprises me because I always thought that I would paint up to the end.
My Beloved Karl is gone eleven months and thirteen days today. Will after a year gone by be the time of healing? I'm so thankful for the years we had together and yet it's so hard, still, to go on without him."
Before returning home from the recent trip, I was able to visit with all four of my sons and with many of my Indiana friends. While in Plainfield, Indiana, I looked at some condos with the thought of maybe buying one. I'm so unsure of what to do now that probably renting would be a better option for me. It's for certain that I won't do anything until "I have the I know that I know" from my Inner Presence.
Being away from here for a while was good but the loneliness and sadness still eat away at me. I talked to a counselor yesterday who says this will not continue and to expect good things to happen gradually that will ease this suffering. He says "Be kind to yourself during this time and if you can't paint, just don't do it. If there is no joy in painting now, why are you forcing yourself? You'll know when and if it's time. Seek, look into and try new things." . . . . Actually, nothing really seems to mean anything to me now.
Last Friday I canceled out of The Sheldon Fine Art Gallery here in Naples and brought home five paintings. They still have six of my paintings and I intend to have them back soon. I plan to take one or two paintings to the Brown County, IN gallery the first of September but I need to be free of painting obligations right now. It surprises me because I always thought that I would paint up to the end.
My Beloved Karl is gone eleven months and thirteen days today. Will after a year gone by be the time of healing? I'm so thankful for the years we had together and yet it's so hard, still, to go on without him."
Un très beau bouquet que vous allez laisser dans votre maison ma chère Nora... Des couleurs superbes... une manière très délicate de traiter les fleurs...
ReplyDeleteJe vous sens vide en ce moment... je vous envoie de gros bisous.
Hello Nora, yes it does get easier. My husband passed away 4 years ago and the first 2 years were the hardest, then I got seriously ill because I pushed myself to do things I did not actually wanted to do, and only now I am more at peace, still missing my soul mate though! You therapist is right, don't paint if you don't want to your heart won't be in it... All the best!
ReplyDeleteNice to see you up here my friend. Your honesty touches me deeply. I'm happy to hear your travels took you to see family. In times of loneliness it's the best. Considering settling down near friends and family makes sense. I know you'll figure out what's best for you.
ReplyDeleteAs for your home. I'll always remember it just as I saw it the day we met in person. I treasure those memories very much... Lucky buyer to get one of your rose paintings with the house. Wish it was me purchasing it!
Mornin' Nora, I took the virtual tour of your home and it is magnificent. So beautiful it could be used as a private retreat or spa. I hope it sells soon for your sake. I am sorry that you are still in your "season of tears" as all things do have a season and this too will change for you when the time is right. But, remember like from the drops of rain the flowers bloom so will beautiful things in your life from each tear you shed. That's just how I feel.
ReplyDeleteMartine, Angelique, susan & Carol . . . .
ReplyDeleteYou are all most precious to me and I soaking in your wise words now.
Do what to have to do Nora, but mostly, quip searching your soul and do what you want to do, the rest will be falling in to place by them-elf, think of time, no in terms of your ticking wristwatch, but how far you go, how much you do of anything, look ahead, look positive, time is no subtractive,
ReplyDeleteGood look whit your move. 1000 kl. No too far to visit says my wife Toni
This is tuff stuff Nora. We assume to pick up and carry on, but it's not like that.
ReplyDeleteFamily and friends help. I pray to God, and I think that helps.
Still the emptiness and hurt returns.
As the year mark approches, I relive a painful time. My children
are dealing with loss, and I cannot
comfort them.
I feel life has gone on without me,
(and I really don't care, Renee was my life.)
She truely was my better half.
Bill, I hear you, friend . . . .
ReplyDeleteBest of luck Nora! Good days lay ahead, I am sure and hopefully you will get to meet those soon.
ReplyDeleteHelen,
ReplyDeleteThank you, I sure hope so.
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