Oil painting on linen (30"x40") From the archives
"This painting was done from a photo of my granddaughter, Macy, when she was nine years old. She will be nineteen in August. Macy was asleep on our overstuffed living room sofa, not this brass bed. She did have bangs but her hair is brown and straight. The only thing true to the photo was my favorite orange afghan."
"After reading Bill Whalberg's blog a while ago, http://billspaintingmn.blogspot.com, I am inspired to write also. My Beloved Karl died August 13, 2010 and it's been ten and a half months. Concentrating is still hard and makes painting difficult. For several weeks now, I have been eliminating everything superfluous in this house and in my life. I'm obsessed with giving away, throwing away and have made umpteen trips to the Salvation Army drop-off. Last Friday, I listed the house for sale. It certainly isn't the best time to sell but it's time to be pro-active in getting through this season of grief. Now that I've decided to sell the house, I wonder if that was the reason I was (and still am) so overwhelmingly obsessed with the clearing out of so many things. My Inner Spirit assures me I am doing the right thing but the sadness persists. I have to force myself many times not to think of my Beloved Karl because the tears are still so close to the surface.
Writing down some things helps and one thing (along with many others) that came to mind was "I must fully accept, mentally and emotionally, that Karl cannot be with me and I will be at peace with that. Others have come through aching grief and sadness . . . . I will too."
It's shameful to me that I am still not functioning emotionally very well."