"Roses In Vermont 2010"
© Nora Kasten 2010
Oil on linen (10"x10") For sale at The Brown County Art Guild, Nashville, IN
"The art world still seems so far away for me but I am not without hope. If this continued grief is self pity (and I think it must be), my heart will surely accept the loss of my Beloved Karl soon so that a new life without him can begin. He died nine and a half months ago and though I have some days without tears, they still erupt too often.
Last week I read (listened to on the IPad) Joyce Carol Oates "A Widow's Story"/March, 2011. Her beloved husband, Ray, died in February, 2008. I'm not experiencing guilt but other than that our lives and emotions during the first year of being a widow seem to parallel, even the things we've done. The book was very depressing for me to listen to but toward the end she firmly states "The value of suffering itself, physical pain, emotional and psychological pain, is there any purpose to it? Then at the end she says, "Though I am writing this memoir to see what can be made of the phenomenon of grief in the most exactingly minute of ways, I am no longer convinced that there is any inherent value in grief. Or if there is, if wisdom springs from the experience of terrible loss, it's a wisdom one might do without." Oates words inspire me to get on with the new life God has for me. . . . . but what is it?"
8 comments:
Nora, I have been thinking of you! I think you are searching for a way to finish with your grieving or at least move through it faster and get on with your "happier" self and it sounds like you are finding solace and getting closer. Find those happies each day and your art is a wonderful way to work through the final stages of acceptance. Would love to see a brand new sunshiney painting:) Take care!
Now there's a question! Phew. I don't think anyone can answer it for you.
Would you like to come paint for a week?
Dear Nora, I hope you don't mind me saying, you have,(and are) living the new life God has for you.
You bring hope and inspiration. That in and of itself is like cool cool water.
Your paintings help me to stop and "smell" the roses. That's something I need to do.
I haven't posted any art lately. My emotions are all over the board, and I don't like anything I am painting. So I figure now is not the time for me to paint.
So I am looking at Art Blogs, like yours. I may not always comment, but I enjoy every time you post.
Thank you Nora.
Bill, I really appreciate your comment. This morning I received an e-mail from a long ago friend that many years have gone by since since I last saw her. Part of her message is below that I want to share with you because it has opened up a whole new way of dealing with Karl's death for me. Put your dear wife's name in place of Karl's and see if it makes sense to you too.
" I am so sorry that you are so unhappy. I know that you miss Karl. Is there anyway that you can reflect on your lives, and compare and contrast. Do you think Karl would be happy seeing you now? What about you did he love? What did you love about him? Are you leading the life that he worked for you to have? Is it honoring your love, his spririt and carrying on the legacy of what he valued?"
Susan,
I would love to come paint with you but you're just too far away and the timing is wrong. Dear friend, do you know how much I appreciate you?
Kathy, thank you for hanging in there with me and I sure hope to see a happy painting any day now.
Nora, Just happened back by to check on you and love seeing the friendships and caring just right here on this post. Hope that helps you. Also, really brings to heart what your friend sent to you that you posted. Yes, honor your sweet Karl by living and finding those happies that we talk about. YOU have an incredible gift of saying something with paint and I hope to see something new soon. Thinking of you and sending hugs and encouragement:)
Hi Nora. I love your paintings. I just took notice of your link to my blog. I guess I have been so busy, I didn't see this. I appreciate this very much. Sometimes 45 people come to see my blog from your link. Not sure if this is you each day? No matter! I wanted to tell you I am sorry to hear your husband passed away. I have not experienced too many people leaving me but I have lost one Uncle. It was difficult. I hope you find happiness again. Maybe now it is just good to feel sad. Without sadness there is no joy! I do know this. Happy painting!
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