New Oil Painting by Artist, NORA KASTEN

"Bavarian Vase"

© Nora Kasten

Oil painting on linen on board   (12"x12" unframed)        August 18, 2012

"It's good to be painting again and I've also been listening to the audio version of  "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer.  I just want  to share with you.  It is a wonderful book!  This author explains, in the best way, what I have experienced since childhood.  I always referred to it as my gut feeling or the still small voice within but finally someone has explained what I didn't have the words to do."

This book came to me through a beautiful lady who just recently entered my life and she too is a widow.  She was widowed after 60 years of marriage and has not yet reached the first anniversary of her Beloved's transition.  "Transition" is her word for her husband's death and I want to use it too.  Her presence in my life is most certainly a Godsend and I realize anew how precious life truly is."

NORA KASTEN WEBSITE

Oil Painting "Yellow Moroccan Vase" by Artist, NORA KASTEN

"Yellow Moroccan Vase"

© Nora Kasten

Oil painting on linen on board   (24"x12")     July 31, 2012

"Today is much, much better and life is certainly our most valuable possession.  

This painting was started over a week ago before my youngest son,  Jason, and his lovely wife, Leticia, were here for the nicest visit.  Sadness hit me when they left but we all visit with one another on the phone every afternoon so I always feel they are close."

NORA KASTEN WEBSITE

The Widowed Life by Artist, NORA KASTEN

"This music is a Blessing to me and I'm glad to share it with you. 
 In two weeks it will be two years since my dearly Beloved Karl died.  I thought the agony of grief would be behind me by now but  . . . . . WRONG.   He's always close to the surface of my thoughts but most days I am at peace.  Maybe the coming anniversary of his death is bringing on the waves of horrible  grief anew but I thought that I would be stronger now.  Someone said to me a while back "Nora, take time to enjoy your sadness".  What does that mean?  I have fought it for so long.  Can it be true that this grief for Karl, after all, is just "prolonged self pity".

NORA KASTEN WEBSITE

"Beach Bride" Oil Painting by Artist, NORA KASTEN

"Beach Bride"

©  Nora Kasten

Oil on linen  (40"x24")   From the 2001 Archives

"Last week we saw the movie "The Artist".  It was a great movie and the wonderful lead actress, Berenice Bejo, reminded me so much of Kathy, the beautiful "Beach Bride" I painted over ten years ago.   The actress looks so much like Kathy.  She's pretty like Kathy but also she portrayed her mannerisms and personality so wonderfully.  It was really a treat for me to see the  movie and remember Kathy.


The home Karl and I shared finally sold last month, January, 2012 and I've moved into the place (home) that is right for me now.  There is a room with an easel, all set up for me to paint, and that's what I intend to do.  There is the beginning of a painting on the easel now (a lady sniffing a bouquet of flowers) but I'm not sure if I will finish it or destroy it.  I'll keep you posted."

NORA KASTEN WEBSITE

"Fresh Roses" Oil Painting by Artist, NORA KASTEN

"Fresh Roses"

Oil painting on linen on board  (16"x20")

"This painting is hanging in a guest bathroom that I intend to let go with my home / when and if it sells.  The beautiful black gallery wall is gone and restored to it's original color.  The house and garage are cleared of the things I am keeping except for clothes and personal items.  One wall in the garage is lined with paintings and frames that I want to keep.  The big Hughes easel will be gone by next week.  Here is a link to the multiple listing and virtual tour of my home.


Before returning home from the recent trip, I was able to visit with all four of my sons and with many of my Indiana friends.  While in Plainfield, Indiana, I looked at some condos with the thought of maybe buying one.  I'm so unsure of what to do now that probably renting would be a better option for me.  It's for certain that I won't do anything until "I have the I know that I know" from my Inner Presence. 


Being away from here for a while was good but the loneliness and sadness still eat away at me.  I talked to a counselor yesterday who says this will not continue and to expect good things to happen gradually that will ease this suffering.  He says  "Be kind to yourself during this time and if you can't paint, just don't do it.  If there is no joy in painting now, why are you forcing yourself?  You'll know when and if it's time.  Seek, look into and try new things." . . .  .  Actually, nothing really seems to mean anything to me now.


Last Friday I canceled out of The Sheldon Fine Art Gallery here in Naples and brought home five paintings.  They still have six of my paintings and I intend to have them back soon.  I plan to take one or two paintings to the Brown County, IN gallery the first of September but I need to be free of painting obligations right now.  It surprises me because I always thought that I would paint up to the end. 


My Beloved Karl is gone eleven months and thirteen days today.  Will after a year gone by be the time of healing?  I'm so thankful for the years we had together and yet it's so hard, still, to go on without him."

NORA KASTEN WEBSITE

Oil Painting "Watermelon For Snacks" by Artist, NORA KASTEN

"Watermelon For Snacks"

© Nora Kasten
Oil painting with palette knife on linen  (18"x20")  Completed June 3, 2011

"It's good to be back at the easel today and I'm not concerned how the painting turned out.  Of course I always want to do better but that's not the main concern for now.  

I've had an attitude adjustment that has helped.  Also, another thing learned that for me to function as a normal human being and not on the emotional roller coaster, I must get a good night's rest. . .  .even if I have to take a 5mg. Ambien to do so sometime.  I believe taking meds to cope with grieving can only be a band-aid and may even prolong the process.  

Well, here this widow is in beautiful, sunny Naples, Florida and though I have not walked on the beach very much in years past, now I find it to be good therapy.  Walking from 6pm to 7pm is a great time because it's still sunny and warm but not the hot noon day sun.  There is always a wonderful breeze and I like to walk splashing in the water,  just at the edge of the Gulf.  I am Blessed."

NORA KASTEN WEBSITE

"Roses In Vermont 2010"

© Nora Kasten 2010

Oil on linen  (10"x10") For sale at The Brown County Art Guild, Nashville, IN

"The art world still seems so far away for me but I am not without hope.  If this continued grief is self pity (and I think it must be),  my heart will surely accept the loss of my Beloved Karl soon so that  a new life without him can begin.  He died nine and a half months ago and though I have some days without tears, they still erupt too often.

Last week I read (listened to on the IPad) Joyce Carol Oates "A Widow's Story"/March, 2011.  Her beloved husband, Ray, died in February, 2008.  I'm not experiencing guilt but other than that our lives and emotions during the first year of being a widow seem to parallel, even the things we've done.  The book was very depressing for me to listen to but toward the end she firmly states "The value of suffering itself, physical pain, emotional and psychological pain, is there any purpose to it?  Then at the end she says, "Though I am writing this memoir to see what can be made of the phenomenon of grief in the most exactingly minute of ways, I am no longer convinced that there is any inherent value in grief.  Or if there is, if wisdom springs from the experience of terrible loss, it's a wisdom one might do without."  Oates words inspire me to get on with the new life God has for me. . . . .  but what is it?"

NORA KASTEN WEBSITE